Monday, August 25, 2014

The Case of Carla, the Undateable, From A to Z.

Almost everyone thought Carla was a lost cause; the most undateable girl on campus. Between her lack of social skills and her poor hygiene, she surely seemed hopeless. Carla never had a date and the way things were going, she never would have one, which was now Donna’s problem.
Donna had been given the task, as a pledge to the hottest sorority on campus, of getting Carla a date. Every guy she talked about to about taking Carla out, gave pretty much the same answer.

“Forget it.”
Given the universally negative responses, Donna even tried to bribe guys into taking Carla out. Holy cow, when guys in college don’t respond to money, you know the cause is pretty much lost. It got so bad that Donna even stooped to offering certain, shall we say, favors, to a guy willing to take Carla out. Just as with offers of monetary gain, her offer of pleasant favors fell on deaf ears.

Kindness didn’t work, nor did bribery. Left with little else to work with, Donna contemplated blackmail.
Mark was a guy she had dated in high school and she knew he had paid someone to take his SATs for him. Never did she think she would go so low as to blackmail an old boyfriend, but her time was running out.

Of course, it didn’t work. Perhaps it would have worked if Mark did not have the, ehem, video of the two of them in a rather compromising position.  Questions she did not want to have to answer would be asked it that video ever saw the light of day.
Reluctantly, Donna began to look at the possibility of not making it into a sorority. She would feel like a failure and she just didn’t want to face that possibility. The stink of desperation was upon her.

Using all her feminine wiles, she made one last attempt to get Carla a date. Very sexily she asked a number of boys to do her “the biggest of favors” and take poor little Carla out for a good time.
What she got in return was a series of one “no” after another, accompanied by some of the strangest facial contortions and ticks she had ever witnessed.  Xenophobic is what the boys became.

Yes, they really didn’t think she was an alien, but Donna knew that her chances of her getting any of them to go out with Carla were slim and none and that some thinking “outside the box” would be required if she hoped to become a sorority sister.
Zen teachings say that “what you resist, persists,” so Donna stopped resisting, changed her life and asked Carla out.

Copyright 2014 Barry Keller. All rights reserved.

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