Did You Get Your Zucchini?

Lately my son Brian has been expanding his list of friends. This is a pretty natural thing that happens as you leave the world of high school behind and move out into the world of college and beyond. A week or so ago he told us how a new friend of his had invited him to Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night. Me, I had never heard of this holiday. It was last night; did you get yours?

When I first heard of this I assumed it was something Brian's new friend had made up, but I decided to look it up online and was surprised to find it really exists. They even have an eCard! According to AllRecipies.com (which has a long list of zucchini recipes), the holiday was established by Pennsylvanian Tom Roy. August 8th is a day that encourages sharing.

According to HolidayInsites.com, "Experienced gardener's know that Zucchini is one of the most prolific plants in all of the gardening world. A single plant produces a seemingly endless supply of Zucchini. A small row of zucchini has the potential to end world hunger.

"By the time August arrives, gardeners are reaping far more zucchini than they can possibly use. They use it daily in an untold number of recipes, from soups and stews, to breads and dips. Still, the fruit matures on the vine faster than anyone can even pick it. Zucchini growers become desperate, as they try to give zucchini away to family, friends and everyone they encounter. By August, even non-gardeners have had enough. Everyone avoids you, with your arms laden with giveaway fruit.

"Desperate times calls for desperate measure. It's time to sneak over, under the cover of darkness, to your neighbors porch, and unload some zucchini."

Inspired by the "Submit an Entry" form in a copy of Chase's Calendar of Events, Roy and his wife, Ruth, have launched several creative holidays.

A few suggestions from Tom Roy's "Top 20 List for successful sneaking of Zucchini or otherwise ridding yourself of unwanted surplus summer squash:"

• Carefully place a dozen or more zucchini in a large, sturdy black plastic trash bag, then add a couple layers of unwanted clothing. Drive to nearest Goodwill or Salvation Army, hand over bag to nearest volunteer. Politely refuse any offered receipt. Leave quickly.
• Look for out-of-the-way places which have signs posted, "Clean Fill Wanted."
• Under light of full moon, either stark naked or wearing full army camouflage, carrying a machete or any garden implement, run amuck in your zucchini patch, cutting and slashing. Be sure to thank Mother Nature for her bounty before and after this cathartic experience.
• Buy a large roll of freezer paper--the kind that sub shops use. Then proceed to wrap each zucchini that has managed to grow to a foot or more in length. Next time your child has a fundraiser, send him or her out supplied with these phony subs. Tell child to drop them off with neighbors or relatives and leave quickly. It's advisable that a responsible adult hover nearby in a get-away car.
• Gather all available plastic containers and freezer bags. Drink a vat of your favorite caffeinated beverage, in preparation for staying up 'round the clock to purée large quantities of zucchini. This can then be packaged neatly and artistically labeled: "For Zucchini Nut Bread Recipe." These packages can be freely given, along with copies of recipe, to anyone on your Christmas list.
  

I guess I don't live in a neighborhood with many zucchini growers, as we did not receive any last night. My son said they delivered about fifty packages, each adorned with a cute Happy Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night! note.