Gene Simmons Family Jewels

I admit it, I'm hopelessly hooked. If I wasn't having so much fun I'd be ashamed of myself. If you asked me I would have to say that the stupidest kind of show on TV (following fake right-wing news shows on Fox) would have to be the "follow around the celebrity" reality shows. So what am I doing watching one? I don't know. Really, it just happened.

But dammit, Gene Simmons Family Jewels is one of the most entertaining half hours on TV. Shown on the A&E Network, each week Gene Simmons Family Jewels follows KISS front-man, idea-man extraordinaire and enormous ego Gene Simmons though a couple of days of his life. For more than 20 years Gene has been "happily unmarried" to Playboy playmate Shannon Tweed, who plays a big part in the show along with their two children Sophie and Nick and Shannon's sister Tracy.

In the first episode of this, the show's second season, Gene is moments away from getting a facelift when he receives a call telling him a KISS publicity tour has been rescheduled (he had the phone hidden in his sock). While Gene hops a plane to New York the kids find out, much to their horror, that Shannon may be pregnant. Once in New York, Gene discovers that the bag containing his costume never made it to his room and he sends the hotel's assistant manager on a mad dash to locate his bag. The bag is eventually found in the kitchen where some of the kitchen staff are taking pictures of each other in Gene's outfit (certainly not showing off the Doubletree in the best of light).

Along the way you get bits of Gene's family buying pregnancy tests and Gene talking to his son Nick about what the different parts of his costume represent to him. Hey, the wings are not from Batman but from Blackbolt of the Inhumans; who would have guessed that? It all winds up with Gene in full costume in the streets of New York calling home and asking, "Well, is there a bun in the oven?"

The second episode has Gene on a mad dash back to California, but being Gene and business being business, he has to first do multi-state personal appearances for the KISS cologne, which ends up with Gene on stage being propositioned by two lovely ladies who give Gene an address to go to later that night.

Gene thinks there might be magic in the air, but the women are lovers looking for a sperm donor (I guess this shit happens to you when you are Gene Simmons). But speaking of sperm donors, is there a bun in Shannon's oven? Gene doesn't find out till he gets back home.

In every episode I find myself shaking my head at Gene's ego and laughing my head off at what transpires. His family comes off, as the title implies, as the Jewels in Gene's life. As Gene says at the beginning of each episode, "It's good to be...me!"

And in the coming weeks we will witness the birth of what Gene calls, "Gene Simmons 2.0" as he and Shannon go under the knife for some his and her cosmetic surgery. The A&E site promises that we will go through their entire procedure and recovery and the unveiling of their new faces as the season progresses. I can't wait.

KISS may not be your cup of tea; neither may Gene or celebrity reality shows, but I tell ya, there is something very cool about Gene Simmons Family Jewels. Behind the gigantic ego, the outlandish business dealings and the rock star excesses is a guy who just loves his family. Check it out. Like me, you might just become a fan in spite of yourself.